One-night stand mortgage brokers, stop breaking our hearts.

One-night stand mortgage brokers, stop breaking our hearts.

February 13, 2020
broken hearted

Dear one-night stand mortgage broker.

An open poem from a broker-hearted borrower.

Dear one-night stand mortgage broker,
Dropped me when the deed was done, you absolute joker!
I feel used and forgotten. Got what you wanted and that’s it.
No note, no text, nothing. Not even an email! You absolute git.

One-night stand mortgage broker, bet you don’t even remember my name!
I’m just a number to you, a tick off the list. Completed it mate, just like a game.
You promised you’d be in touch, especially after my initial 2 years.
But no, I fell onto my SVR rate like a sack of potatoes – cheers!

I even popped my cherry with you, what a huge mistake.
My advice to borrowers, be sure to trust your broker so your heart doesn’t break.
Thanks for the mind games, empty promises you didn’t keep
I’ve had pickles in my fridge longer than our relationship, yeah I’m getting deep

I trusted you to guide me and get me a good bang for my buck
But honestly, right now you really don’t give a …………………………….monkeys.

I fell in love with that house, that dream and the mortgage was great,
You just saw ££ signs in my eyes, why did I take the bait!!
All that time spent with me down the drain,
I’ll make sure you’ll never deal with my friends or family ever again.

News flash one-night stand mortgage broker, I’m not about to wallow and cry.
I’m seeing someone else, a new mortgage broker..what a hell of a guy!
With you there was no contact, check-ins, guidance or help – I felt cursed!
My new broker always keeps in touch, so when I think mortgage, I think of them first.


A very unhappy, dissatisfied ex-customer.

A response from Eligible.

Smart brokers know the value of a relationship, they’re not stupid
They’ve invested in retention so they’re always playing cupid.

How? Get in touch, we’ve run out of rhymes.

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